Freedom

I wonder is it like to be free. I mean really free. No worries. No pain. No anxiety. Nothing that can cause you harm in form. Jesus has made me free from sins. It feels good to know that He did that for me. He didn't have to but He did for all of us. Yet there are some things that are clinging to me. It has been a struggle. Seriously. It has been a real fight. My flesh and spirit are at a constant war. Who is going to win? I understand what Paul says by some things I want to do, I don't do. Then there are some things I don't want to do but do. I so get that. I just want to be free in my mind as well as my spirit. No bills. No regrets. No shame. Completely free.

A love like that.

Hey guys. How are ya? ;)

I saw a movie by my favorite artist of all time this past weekend. Under The Cherry Moon. This is was my second time seeing it. The first time I saw it I really didn't pay it a whole lot of attention. But this go round I did. I like the movie a lot. Pretty funny, too. Tricky and Chris were hilarious. But you know what I got from it? I want a love just like that. I want someone who will love me no matter what I have. Or don't have. I want someone that will see my heart and not just my body. I want to be swept off my feet just like Mary Sharon was by Chris. He showed her that life can really be fun if you loosen up. Take a chance. That is something that I am learning how to do. I've been taught to always being afraid to do stuff. I want to take risks. I'm not saying I want to be careless but I do want to be spontaneous. I love how they met secretly and then when things got rough they no longer hid their relationship. Now, I don't want to betray my best friend for no man but I do want a love of my own. Someone that will go the distance and the miles for me. Someone that will love me divinely. Someone who will stand up for me and me for them. Somebody worth dying for. That is what I want. Now, if I had my way the ending would have been different. Christopher would....well, I'll let you see the movie for yourself.  ;)  But tell me something...is what I want wrong?

Khole......I've been there.

Hey everybody. Please forgive me for not writing sooner. It has been laziness for me. So please forgive me. But I feel like I have to talk about something. Khloe Kardashian. This girl, to me, gets a very bad rap. She really does. The media really tears this girl to shreds. And to me because of this she doesn't have the self esteem that she should have. Vey low self confidence. How do I know you say? Well, I was where she is mentally and emotionally. Now, we don't have the same background and have not been through the same things but there are some things that I have noticed about her that I myself used to do. I noticed that she really does not take the time to get to really know a person. She has gone from Lamar to French. Saying that, she is not paying any attention to what she is picking. See, when you date, you have to have discernment. You have check people's spirit out. Where are they coming from? Why do they act the way they act? Why do they hang around who they hang around? What are their motives for being with you? It is not that you are being insecure. It is that you have to be careful about you let into your life. Everybody cannot share your atmosphere with. What are their goals in life? What is it that they hope to accomplish? You must asks these questions. And even you must ask yourself these questions. You have to love yourself enough to not accept anything that is thrown your way. Just because it said "Hi!" does not mean you start to develop any type of relationship with it. Also, if this means that you have to be by yourself for a long time.....and I am not talking about a year or so.....I'm talking at least 3 or 4 years.....then so be it. Your heart and your head will thank you. Trust me. In the end, it will all be worth it. Pray Khloe and every other Khloe out there.

The Journey

Hey everyone. You guys...for the past two months I have really been making some changes to my life. And it all has to do with my weight. I give health tips at my church every Sunday and I am over the Health & Fitness ministry. Even as I give out the health tips, I really never put some of them to my own use. Now check this out. I really do believe in eating healthy and living healthy in every aspect of health. I even practice healthy cooking. My problem is portion control and sweets. I can be an emotional eater sometimes as well. You see...I have been battling my weight ever since I was 7 years old. The story goes like this: When my dad came and took me to Missouri where he was stationed for two weeks, he let me eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I did not recognize what he was doing to me because I was so young. But my grandmother and mother did. When he brought me home, he took me to my grandmother's house. Grandmother told me years later that when she saw me she wanted to cry. I had gained twelve pounds while I was with my dad. Too much weight for a seven year old. Ever since then, I have tried all type of diets and nothing ever stuck. I can remember being 13 years old, asking my mama if I could have liposuction. At 13 now. And as far as school was concerned.....I hated most days I had to go. I had some friends but the bullies could not be counted. My worst grades were 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 7th. Absolutely hated them. I use to dream about being home schooled all the time. My mother made me go though. But one thing that she told me that has not left me until this day is "Never entertained ignorance. Never give ignorance an audience." I still have to say it to myself sometimes. My childhood was really something serious to go through. That was why I use to love to read so much and be by myself sometimes because I knew that as long as I was with self I was alright. There were times I ate to soothe the pain of having to deal with life and other times I ate because it was available. Now, I am determined to turn that all around. I want to be the health tips that I give out every Sunday at church. I want to really walk in the fullness of everything that God has for me. And I don't want to be afraid to do it because of my size. Now check this out...there were times when I KNEW I was the finest woman in the room and could not and would not tell me other wise. I knew that before I step outside my bedroom door to go anywhere at that time I was the sexiest thing walking.  I knew. But then the other times came. I looked great but didn't feel great on inside. God has me in the process now of truly appreciating myself for all that I am while making myself better. I can do it. And i am going to do it. I am walking more now. Watching my portions especially. Really knowing when I am full. Especially late at night. Late nights, like after ten, I either eat tortilla chips, crackers or peanuts. These really help me in my journey. Well, that is all I have for now, guys. I think I will be doing a part 2 of this but I am not sure yet. Just keep praying for me and I will keep praying for you. Let's walk this journey together. Until next time....

Complain or Pray?

Hey guys. I have an issue. I'm going to start by telling you a little something about me as the introduction to this blog and to the issue. Here it goes....When I was about five years old, I saw a video. A music video that is. At the beginning of this video, the music started out slow and seductive. There was this light smoke and lighting that encircled the stage. Then appeared this light skinned guy with curly hair who had a nice mustache. In my five year old eyes, he was kind of tall but most definitely handsome. He wore a purple coat over a white ruffled shirt and gray pants with matching gray boots. Most exquisite he was. I didn't memorize the words to the song at that moment because I was too in awe of him. His way of singing was different as was his style of music and style of dress. I was indeed smitten. I later learned of this young man name. His name was Prince. I had heard of bedtime stories and fairytales with princes in them. But never have I ever heard of a boy named Prince. Needless to say, I fell in love with this "Prince". I remember telling my mother that I was going to marry him. :) When my uncle bought the Purple Rain album, he would always call me whenever he got ready to play the album. I would run to his room and sing along with the songs and look at the poster that was enclosed in the album sleeve. It was nothing better in the world than to hear "Dearly beloved...we are gathered here today to celebrate this thing called life." There was absolutely nothing better.

I am an adult now. A lot has changed since then. Hairstyles changed. Fashion changed. Technology has changed. Music has even changed. And my life has changed. Ever since I gave my life to Jesus, I've been noticing something. Those of us who call ourselves Christian have the scathing and seething and nasty attitudes towards people in the music industry. We have gotten so blatantly cold towards them that it is scary. We say that they need to get saved, which is true. But why should they when we don't offer the same kind of love that was shown towards us? Why should they break their necks to serve our God when don't act godly? You know what I mean. There have been documentary videos out talking about the truth behind this and that. And in these documentaries they have been called out of their names. Insulted in ways you wouldn't want a dog to be insulted. And the lies... don't even get me started. Some of that stuff we should already know that it is not of God. We should know better. But we CHOOSE not to do better. We as the people of God should pray for those who are lost. Complaining about what they are doing or what they are not doing is not going to get them to Jesus. At all. What would happen if we prayed more than complained? What if we stormed the gates of heaven for them? What would happen if we decided, "Yes, we are going to tell them the truth but we are going to love on them"? The Bible says, "With love and kindness I have drawn you". Did God save you by yelling and screaming at you? Calling you out of your name? Spreading lies about you? So why would yo do it to them? Think about it.

Kevin Terry: How I feel

Hey guys. I was online a couple of weeks ago, googling for some information. And I saw that this one website was talking about a gospel artist named Kevin Terry. And the information that they displayed on their website shocked me a bit because it was an allegedly Christian website. I was in shock about what was being wrote about this brother. At first, I didn't believe it because I know how "us" can be. But then people were saying that everything was true. Okay, fine. But here is the thing: those of us who called ourselves Christians were and are acting extremely unChrist like. Well, what do you mean by that? Glad you asked. When a brother of ours falls, the Word says that we are to be there to pick him up. By no means should we condone the sin but we are to be there to cover our brother and help him. I am not saying turn a blind eye. Not at all. But don't beat our brother down. The world was already doing that. So why should we do it? Okay, he made a mistake. He made a mistake. But guess what? Who hasn't? It breaks my heart to see people who love the title of Christian but never living it. And for some reason, we got this thing in our heads that if we insult, bully and scrutinize people, they will come out of their sin. Guess what? They won't. As a matter of fact, the spirit or spirits that come out of your mouth will strengthen the spirit or spirits already on them. Since people need scripture, go check out James 3: 1-12. You think that people don't already feel awful for what they have done? Sure, they do. Never let no one fool you. They maybe saying that what you say don't hurt them but it does. You may never see it but it does. Am I saying that we should sit back and condone sin? Absolutely not! That's our problem now! But I am saying we need to learn how to handle things with tact because looking at what church folks have said about this brother we clearly don't know how to do that. Whenever you devote time and energy to kill another person whether by website, blog or YouTube, something is wrong with your spirit. I won't say your Holy Ghost because the Holy Ghost don't act like that. We know that! We all know that! I don't care what you church folk say. Lift Kevin up in prayer and stop talking about Him like he is lower than dirt. You know what church folks(Saints, this ain't for y'all. Y'all good.)? You will be judged by God for what you did to Kevin and what you did not. Watch your mouth and your step. This man may have to end up laying before God for your very soul. So watch how treat him and anybody else like him.

Mr. Kevin Terry....you keep your head up, brother. Let church folk say what they say. Us Saints are praying for you. You know what...this is what God gave me concerning your situation. Whenever you make a decision to totally live for God, everybody is not going to like it. People, as you can tell, get down right malicious. People lose their minds because they can no longer be your God. As long as you did what they did, said what they said, acted how they acted, they were all right with you. But when God starts to call you out of your situation and heed His call, they want to keep you a clone. Following the masses like they are. But God be thanked that you chose not to do that. And to me, it's evident that you chose not to do that. Because the persecution. Yes, it's embarrassing. Shamful and shaming. But God is refining you. He's making you the man that He says that you are. You are in transition and process right now. You are going to come out as pure gold though. And even your choir has got to go through. If not, they are going to have to leave. Because on this next go round, there won't be any hiding or fluff. The anointing is going to come forth for real and not just the gift. Paul said "it was good that I was afflicted". It's good, Kevin. It's good. You are now even more qualified to be the choir director, singer and songwriter that you are because you have gone through. You are going to be all right. You're going to be alright. We're praying for you, bro. And us Saints love you.

Jesus is for EVERYBODY!

Hey everybody. With this month being all about love and such, I think I want to deal with love in another way. And the way I want to deal with it is by talking about our personal testimonies. We all know that through God's love and grace that He has saved us. Right? Well, if you don't, now you do.  :) Jesus paid the price for all of our sins by dying on the cross. You get it? Okay. So why then do we who have been redeemed by His blood act like we have never done nothing wrong? Or why do we throw our noses up in the air when someone else gets saved? Let me explain. I saw a video on YouTube saying that Tonex has come back to God after leading a homosexual lifestyle. He rededicated his life back to God at Dorinda Clark-Cole's Singers, Musicians, and Arts Conference in August of 2013. Now for those that found out about it such as myself were ecstatic about his deliverance. We had been praying that God would bring him back home. And praise God He did. But then you have the people I like to call "The Others". The Others are mad that he has given his life back to God. Actually upset that he wants to be the vessel God has called him to be. THEY ARE MAD ABOUT THIS! Now mind you, these were the same people who were allegedly praying withe rest of us for his deliverance. How you get upset when somebody that you have been praying for gets saved, finally does get saved? Is there something I'm missing here? Am I wrong? Y'all, the same love the Jesus used to bring you into Himself should be the same love that we extend to other people. Jesus' love is not limited to just one group of people. It is for everybody! Not just us! Ja Rule got saved during the filming of "I Fell In Love With A Church Girl" and some people are mad about that! Really people? Really? The ones we say need Jesus, they get him and we mad about it? Jesus is not a toy! The Word declares we are to share this gospel with the world. The world, y'all. Let us truly start loving the people Jesus saves and welcome them with open arms. And stop trippin'! I have been hollerin' all over the place but this subject has gotten on my nerves and needed to address it. :) Whew....I think I am done now.  :) Talk to you guys soon.

The Plan

Hello, everyone! I hope that your new year started out great. And if it did not, there is something you can do about it. You can plan for what you want to happen for the rest of the  year. That's right. Plan what you want to happen for the rest of the year. The Bible says to write the vision and make it plain. What are your dreams? What do you want out of life this year? What is it that you like to do? What is it that you like to do? For the year, make a list that is feasible for you to do this year. Don't put down nothing crazy, just something you know can actually be accomplished. This is going to be a great year for all of us. Follow God's orders and watch what will be accomplished this year for you. Keep your hand in His. He won't lead you wrong.