Forward

Hello, beautiful people. We have come to the close of another year. By God's grace and mercy, we have come this far. And only by that same grace and mercy being renewed everyday, we shall go farther. I know that many of you have face many a challenge in this soon-to-be past year. No doubt there were tears, fear, doubt crept in, anger and anguish, hate even. But with God's loving power He pulled you through. It did not matter what the situation was He was always right there. He will continue to be right there. You put your hand in His this coming year. Let Him guide and lead you. He is not going to take you somewhere that you won't come out of it. He will bring you through the valleys and the storms. He knows that you will have to go through these things because He has a destiny to bring you to. He has given you a future, a hope, an expected end. He knows what lies ahead of you. But the thing that you must do to make sure that you get to your destiny is to move forward. Hanging on to things of the past thinking that somehow it will help you in the end is not going to help you move forward. Holding on to anger, hurt, unforgiveness, hatred and anything else ungodly will hinder your destiny. Never allow any of those things to keep you from the future that God has for you. The person or people that hurt you are more than likely not even thinking about you. So why allow yourself to carry on such bitterness? If they are in the wrong, please understand everybody has to answer for their own lives. Everybody got a day coming. Everybody. You included. So let go and really let God have His way in your life. What if God held a grudge against you? And what if that grudge was so strong that He even refused to send our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ to this Earth? Now He would have every right to but He loved us so much in spite of ourselves that He gave His only begotten Son. Let His love surge through you this year. And don't let not one demon in hell keep you from loving people and loving yourself the way God loves you. Move forward. God bless you and Happy New Year.

What I have learned

Hey babies! Guess what? Yesterday was my birthday. Yep, I'm 35. That's right. 3 & 5. There is alot that I have learned in my 35 years of being on this Earth. I have experienced much. Have seen much. And done much. Some of it was good and some of it was bad. But God kept me through it all. It has made the woman that I am and am becoming. I used to beat myself up all the time about the mistakes that I have made. I had to learn that all I really needed to do was learn from them and move on past the hurt and the shame. I got myself into some situations that I came really close to almost not getting out of. But God....His power, grace and mercy is unquestionable. No matter what we do, He is still right there. He doesn't like every decision we make yet He knows how to get us back on track. That is what He is doing in my life. Putting everything back on track. And you know whay He is doing it?Because I asked Him to. That's all it really takes. Just ask Him. And He will do it. You want to be delivered from something or even someone? Just ask Him. Need some help with bills? Just ask Him. Feeling lonely and needing companionship? Just ask Him and He will send somebody. But be specific though.  :) He will do whatever you need Him to do if it is according to His will. I pray that you will allow His will to be done in you today. And for the rest of your life.

He will provide.

Hey everybody. I do apologize for not writing in the last month. Blame my head and not my heart. Please? But you guys, I want to encourage you. I want to let you guys know that whatever you need God will provide. I don't care if the government is shutdown. That does not stop God from feeding and providing for His people. If you are without a job right now, keep consecrating yourself to God on a daily basis and watch Him provide for you ways that you could not imagine. I know because I am walking in that right now. God has shown Himself strong in the last 12 years of my life. I was in college when I worked for a grocery store called Cub Foods. Well, Cub Foods closed in 2001. I was able to get unemployment for about 8 months. Ever since then I have been looking for a steady job. On top of that I was unable to finish school. I sunk into a very deep depression. BUT......in the midst of all that God made a way for me. I kept going to church and reading my Bible. I did not develop a love for God's Word until December 31, 2002. I had asked God to give me a love for reading and studying His word that night and He did. I started to have a really consistent prayer life which has helped me alot. As fas a depression goes, I did not know how depressed I was until after I came out of it. I would sleep until noon or three o'clock and would just sit and watch TV. Then I was meeting guys on the Net (I will do a blog about that later). And He brought me out of it all. Our God is so good. I have never gone hungry. Never been put out the house. He has had people to give me clothes. Through different websites, I have won $10 dollar gift cards and some people even gave me money. What an awesome God! Listen, never give up! I am still looking for a job and I am still determined to get back in school. I am making sure that God directs the show now and not me. Keep looking up. The best is truly yet to come.

Thought Slave

Hey all. You know what? I have been learning more and more about having thoughts and thought processing. With me being a former psychology major, I had to learn about the brain, how it works, what fluids keep it running, what side of the brain did what, amongst other things. But I had to learn about the spiritual side, too. I learned from the Word that an idle mind is the devil's workshop. If we are not careful about what we think about, the enemy will use what we think about to try to bring it to fruition. If the enemy tries to bring negativity to your mind about anything, you don't have to accept it. Especially it is about your past. God has placed His power in you to cast down anything that the enemy tries to bring to you. The Word says that we have the power over enemy and his minions. We are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ. In order for us to use this power, we have to use His Word. And we have to use it daily. We have to meditate on His Word to keep our minds focused on Him and what He says about us. Even the Lord Himself said, "The thoughts I HAVE toward you are good and not evil." The Lord Himself thinks. He is constantly thinking about how He loves us, how He cares for us and how He wants the best for us. All the time. We can be the same way. We just have to want to practice wanting to be that same way. Be no slave to the evil thoughts that the enemy or yourself brings. Be a slave to what God has spoken over you. And to what He thinks about you.

Freedom!

Hey everybody! You know what? I love being a Christian. I really do. I love God with everything that is in me. I do. He cares about every aspect of our lives. He provides ways for us even when we don't deserve it. Even when He corrects us as His children it's wonderful because He knows what is best for us. I love the freedom that comes with being in His care. He allows us to be ourselves and uses our individual personalities to bring others into the Kingdom. For so long the traditions and rituals of man has hindered the God's people from really knowing Him. And many people are still tied up in those traditions and rituals. But for us who want a true relationship with the Father have chosen to break away from it ALL. We have chosen to follow the Spirit with all our heart. We have decided to follow after and chase after Him. We chase after Him and what He desires for us. And we don't have to pretend to anything that we are not. Now, we are careful about what we do, how we are dressed, and how we act. We don't want to offend His Spirit. I have truly never known a love like this. I can honestly say that I am in love with Jesus. I am. I want everybody to know this Love. I want everyone to have this Love. Everybody needs this. He is so gracious and kind. His arms are always open to you. His hand is out you. He wants you. When everybody else has forsaken you, He still wants you. Never think you are never wanted because you are. He wants you and wants to free you. Come and get this freedom. He's ready for you.

You scared?!

Hey y'all. I found out something interesting this past week. I have an aunt and an elder cousin who are afraid to drive through or in Atlanta. Yes. They both live in small cities so driving all over in these small cities is nothing to them. But my aunt was born in Atlanta and my elder cousin has worked in Atlanta. What has changed? I say age and tradition. They are have gotten to the point that they no longer see the advantages of viewing the great city of Atlanta on their own. If they want to come in to the city, somebody else got to drive them. What? Really?? The Bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of peace and love and of a sound mind. Why do we as people allow fear to strangle us? There are people who won't go out after a certain time of the night. There are various reasons which are too many to list. But my point we should never allow fear to keep us from doing what we love best. If it is Godly. If it is not, then yeah, you best beware. Like I was saying, if has something to do with your destiny, your life, your purpose or you just want to have some good clean fun, why not do it? There is so much that we can receive from God and we want to receive it. But we have got to let go of those things that terrify us so He can really do it. If God got something for you to do that has never been done before, don't worry about what others think. They have the assignment. You do. Proceed boldly. Square your shoulders and MARCH! If God is with you, you got all the support you need. He will never let you fall. So, go ahead and be fearless. And watch your life change.

Purfiy

Hey y'all. I know it has been a long time since I have written. Well...I don't have any excuses other than laziness. What I have been learning is that all kinds of things surface when you start to get clean. I mean really clean. You start to see things in a whole different light. You look at life and people differently. I find myself starting to see people how Jesus sees people. People are dealing with all sorts of issues. And many are not really dealing with them. Some of them think that as long as they leave the issue alone that they are okay. Which I learned a long time ago is not true. The longer you keep pretending that things are okay while you lash out at people and do things that are unpleasing to God, the worse off you are. I have learned this. It is a good thing to let God break open your life and let Him do the surgery that needs to be done. Stop pretending as if all is well while you continue to live a life that does not look like what God would want you to have. No more being fake. This past week in Sunday school at my church we talking about meaningless worship. We learned that true worship comes from the heart. It comes from the depths of your soul. That is why Jesus said that they who worship God must worship Him in spirit and in truth. You have to have a relationship with the Father in order to worship Him. It has got to be your everything. I found out that worship is intimate praise. It is a place where it is just you and God. You are ministering to Him. While you are doing that, He is healing you. He is making you free. As you worship Him, He is replenishing parts of you that are dry and have no growth. That is what worship is. It's an everyday thing. It can't be just on Sunday or Wednesday night. It has to be everyday. Everyday He is washing you. And will wash you if you let Him. The ball is in you court.

Bringing down the walls

Hey everybody. I have been asking for prayer lately because I am dealing with a stronghold in my life. It has been around for many years and I am deseperate to get rid of it. I no longer want this thing in my life. And the funny thing is at my church, in our Bible Studies we are doing a series dealing with strongholds. And I had to teach two sessions already (pray for me). Our Bible Studies are off the chain at my church. They are extremely informative and engaging. We bounce ideas off of one another and talk about issues. Well, I have not told anyone about this particular stronghold that I am dealing with. To be honest with you, I am  embarrassed to tell anyone about it. That is why I just asked you guys to just pray for me. Pray that I get delivered from thing that has had hold of me for too many years. Yet, God gave me some strategic ways that can help the people be free from their strongholds. And I am going to take them for myself as well. Here is what God gave me:

(1) Recognize that you have a stronghold. Job:42:6;  Romans:3:23 
(2) Pray. Stay in constant communication with God. Luke:18:1
(3) Find out and look at where it came from.
(4) Once you have found out where it came from, renounce its right to be in your life. II Corinthians:10:5
(5) Deny your flesh to indulge in the act that leads to acting out your stronghold. I Corinthians:15:31
(6) Every time temptation arises, use the word to combat it.
     Romans:6:1,2;12, 13, 18, 19
     Romans:8:1, 12, 13
     Romans:12:1,2
     Romans:13:14
     I Corinthians:6:15
     I Corinthians:10:13 


I hope that this will help you guys. I know that this will help me in my own life. Maybe that is why I am going through what I am going through so I can bring this stronghold down in my own life. So the generations after me what have to go through what I have gone through. Pray me and I will pray for you.

I need help.

Hey y'all.

I need you guys prayers. I am dealing with sexual sin and I need help. I am very weak. I am tired of living like this. I need all of the prayers that I can get. I have tried doing it on my own but it is not working. I need someone other than myself praying for me. I am also want you guys to be my accountability partners. Check up on me every now and then. Keep me in check. And I will do the same. We could all use some big brothers and big sisters in Christ to help us through our own difficult times. Please guys...pray for me. Pray that God will still use me. Pray for me.

Hold on to nothing.

Hey everybody. How are you, guys? I hope that all is well for you.

 Today, I want to let you all know where I am in my walk with God. God has really been dealing with my heart about even the smallest details of my life. Last night right when I thought I was going to go to bed, I started cleaning off my dresser which was full of stuff that I no longer needed. I had old thumbtacks that I used when I would hang my posters. I took all my posters down years ago. I got rid of old hairpins and hair accessories that I honestly forgot I had. I really started this process of cleaning out my room of any thing that I no longer had use for going on a month ago when I first started reading No More Sheets by Prophetess Juanita Bynum. This cleansing my house and spirit is really helping me. It seems as if everything that was not good for me is losing it's grip on my life which I am most grateful for. I feel better now. I am not 100% yet but I am getting there. I woke up this morning doing the same thing. Since I am not yet in my own place at the moment, I live with my grandmother. My grandmother has stuff in the house that no longer works or has holes in it or just out right has not use for anything. Last night I started cleaning out the linen closet which holds everything that has holes or is just old. My grandmother was raised on a farm. They really didn't have a whole lot so I can understand why she does what she does. But I have come to the conclusion that if I am going to anything that I need from God, I am going to have to let go of anything that is keeping me from getting what it is that I need.

We often ask God to do something or give us something without us making a sacrifice. We want what we want and we want it on demand. But you have not put yourself in the proper position to get what you need then what you need or even desire can't come to you. We want to be married but we don't want to stop our cheating ways. We want a new car but we don't want to get the car that we can pay for. We don't want to mature so that we can get what we need. But maturity and responsibility is necessary. We cannot keep hanging on to old habits that is continuously keeping us from being where God wants us to be. It is time that we mature. We have get in proper position that God can bless us. And don't complain about it. It is not easy true enough. But it is still worth it. God will always be worth it. Everything that God has for you; you do want it. As a matter of fact, you need it. But you have to allow God to grow you. I understand that we are and can be insecure, afraid, scared or sometimes just outright lazy. You have to take a chance. Take a chance. It would not hurt you to get rid of CDs that you have not listen to in years. It would not kill you to take clothes that don't fit any more, if they ever fit you at all, and recycle them. Trust God to provide for you all the way. I don't care how empty your home may get. If God provided before, will He not do it again? Has He ever lied to you? Has He ever mistreated you? Has He ever not provided for you? The answer is NO. If He did it before, He will do it again. Thank you, Tye Tribbett. :) Trust God. For real. We say we trust Him but we don't act nor live like it. Don't try to trust Him. Just trust Him. And let go of anything old that is keeping you from trusting Him.  

Get your own oil.

       Hey y'all. Do you guys remember in the Bible where it talks the five foolish virgins and the five wise virgins? If not, you can go to Matthew:25:1-13.  :) Well, that story or parable is about meeting the bridegroom in time for his wedding. Well, since there were Jewish weddings held at night they all needed to get some oil to be able to see their way to his wedding. Well, the time came for the bridegroom to enter into the wedding and the call was made. The girls trimmed their lamps but five of them did not have enough oil to  keep their lamps burning. They asked the other girls for some oil but they refused because they would not have enough if they gave them some their oil. So the wise girls told them to go and buy their own oil. The foolish girls went and did it but by the time they got back, it was too late. The bridegroom went into the hall for the wedding and the doors were shut.

      Listen guys and girls. Don't wait until it is too late to do what you need to do. If God has placed anything on your heart to do in the Earth, do all you know how to do in order for God's purpose to be fulfilled in your life and in the Earth. We are given gifts and talents for a reason. Now, we did not earn because gifts and talents are given without repentance. Whatever your gift and talent is, utilize it for the glory of God. If you rap, use it for God. If you paint, use it for God. If you write, use it for God. And use it in whatever capacity that He tells you to use it in. Let Him guide and direct your footsteps so your life can be blessed and others lives can be blessed by your obedience. I am not saying that everybody that has a gift is going to be stinking rick and wealthy but somebody's life will be changed if you follow what God has already laid out for your life. And in Heaven your rewards will be great. The mansions in Heaven makes the ones down here look like a ghetto. Also, you get a new body called a glorified body, a crown or two, new clothes, a new name....and most importantly everlasting life with Jesus. So you see what you do for God has its rewards. Just do what He had called you to do while there is still time to do it. The night comes because the day is far spent. Tim your candles and get your oil. The bridegroom is coming. 

Free

Guess what? I got my hair cut Thursday. I got it all cut off. My hair was in need of a serious cut. it was ll different lengths and needed deep conditioning. I went to a beauty school to get my hair done. When I first walked in, I told the stylist I was just looking for a wash, blow dry and style. But because of the condition of my hair, she herself was not so sure. So she went and got her teacher. Her teacher looked at my hair and told me what I needed to hear about my hair. She said since I was already natural that I needed to start fresh for real. See, I started going natural three years ago but did not properly cut my hair the way that I needed to cut it. So I took off bits and pieces of my own. Not good. She told me that she does not teach her students to camouflage. If there is a problem, there is a problem. I said okay. She told me it would be way better for me to start all over. And I did. I am cute with my baby afro. :) I look better than I thought I would. It was like my head was saying, "Awww...." A spirit of release was on me that day and it still is. I feel so free right now. And then I have been reading Dr. Juanita Bynum's book, "No More Sheets". That book is really blessing my life right now. There have been some things that I have been longing to break free from. And this book is helping me do it. It is like the light is really on now. And that Hairstylist/teacher blessed me in more ways than one. She not only cut my hair. She also spoke into my life by talking about my hair. She said don't put a band aid on something that needs surgery. I won't forget that. We as people often times do that. We would rather smooth things over and just say that it is cool when it is not. That is what I had been doing all my life. I have grown tired of just ignoring the situation and acting like I was delivered when I was really struggling. In order for me to be all that God has called me to be, I had to repent of all the times that I was disobedient, lazy, slothful, procrastinating, rebellious, and hypocritical. I want to be the real woman that God has already proclaimed that I am. As of yesterday, I started my process my canceling two profiles that I have had for about six or seven years. My flesh did not like it but my spirit was patting me on the back. There was some clothes that was given to me that I had not worn because I had not gotten around to wearing them. But they were not clothes that was befitting for a woman of God like myself. And also I will be getting rid of some music soon. I like the path that God has me on. I want to do all the things that God has placed on my heart to do. Everything. I have ideas that could really further the Kingdom of God. And I want God's thumbprint on it. I want to be all that God says I can be. This process is getting me there. Pray for me as I continue on my journey to freedom.


Also, I want to suggest another book to you. Dr. Ty Adam's book, "Single, Saved, and Having Sex". Please check it out.

What are you going to do?

Hey everybody. What is going on? Hope everything is good. Great. Today, I need to talk to guys about something. Especially to my fellow saints out there.  Here goes:

At my church, I give out health information every Sunday at my church, Divine Love Fellowship. Novemeber of last year, I was preparing to get information HIV/AIDS by watching some YouTube videos. I saw this one video where they had a list of people who well known in the nation or just in their own community. There was one picture caught my eye. It was a picture of a man named Willi Ninja. I was oddly drawn to this man in the video. I decided to do some research about him. I found that he was a choreographer, dancer, runway trainer and even an artist. He was also gay. He was well known and well loved in the gay community and in the fashion community. It has been said to know Willi was to love him. There is even one video on YouTube where he is given the name Father Almighty. This 6'3", broad shouldered, handsome man was able to bring the dance style called vogueing to the main stream with the help of a few others such as Jose & Lois Xtravaganza. Madonna's greatest hit ever "Vogue" was inspired and created by these wonderfully, creative young men and the entire gay community at large. Through Willi, I got exposed to a subculture called the Ballroom. This is where gay, bisexual and transgender people can come together to be creative and show their individual talent on the runway. There are categories such as Fem Queen Vogue, Butch Queen in Drag, Realness, and many others. Their scoring goes to ten which means ovahness. Ovahness means great by the way. If you don't do well, you get chopped. While discovering all this, I was amazed at how much about gay people and the gay community I did not know. I never knew there was a such thing as a ball for gay people. I was like many of you. If I heard the word ball, I would think of pretty girls in long white dresses and guys in tuxes. The ballroom scene does have that element but not all the way all the time. To see so many men and women involved in such a scene was mind blowing. But then there was another side that was shown to me. I started looking at people's testimonies of how God brought them out of the gay lifestyle. Many had been molested and abused, some had not. Some were introduced to it. There was young lady on the Tyra Banks show who I believe was forced into because of some people she got herself caught up with. But I digress. Then just last week, I watched a documentary on YouTube called Lost In The Crowd. The documentary interview LGBT youth who had been thrown out of their homes because they were gay. To see the documentary, go here: <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JsM7zYFpVJE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>.

Listen, after watching the documentary, I am starting to see people as God sees them. I have a different love for people now. I have an appreciation for things that I don't always understand or even know about. I have gay people in my family. I even look at them differently now. I love them still. I understand the passage of scripture that says "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life. For He sent not His Son to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved." John:3:16,17 I understand now. I know what my assignment is. Saints of the most high God. No, we are not to get comfortable with any lifestyle of sin but we are to lead people to our wonderful Savior, Jesus. That is what God wants from us. Have got to get passed out traditional and religious thinking by obeying the Holy Spirit when He speaks to about a certain situation or topic. I see why God keeps putting gay marriage in our faces. He wants us to deal with that spirit without being demeaning and condemning. If you just give people this Jesus that many of us claim we love so much, then God can really move on this on Earth. And He does want to. But what are we willing to do so He can do it? I challenge every saint out there to actually sit back and ask God what does He really want you to do so can effect the world for Him. I know what I am going to do. Do you?

The Ultimate War

Hi, everybody. I know that it has been a long time since I have last posted. But God has been dealing with me about my purpose and I want to do the will of my Father. When there is a will, there is surely a way.

With being Christian, there is much that you face naturally and supernaturally. That is because there is a constant battle for your soul going on. The Bible say that in this life we are going to have trials and tribulations. We have them at work, at home, at school and even at church. But I have learn in my coming up on 10 years of being saved on March 30th that no matter how old you get in the Spirit, you will still have to battle against the flesh and the spirit. Since I believe that this avenue is going to be used to help people, I am going to be transparent as I possibly can without being super explicit. *whew* Here goes:

Early this morning, I was in struggle with something that I have been trying to break free from for a long time. I was trying to go back to sleep but I couldn't. The images came and I was trying to resist at first. I really was. But it was like the images were becoming more and more real. I finally gave in. I felt like I have always felt afterwards. Like crap. I knew I let Heaven down. I repented. But soon after I repented I was attacked in my sleep and dreams. Let me explain. After the battle and after repenting, I was able to get back to sleep. In my dreams, I had a filthy, disgusting nightmare about me, a friend of mine and an holy hip hop female artist. I won't give any names. The dream was extremely distorted and evil. No sooner then I am able to wake up from my dream. I feel something grab my hand gently. I did not see who or what it was. I know that it was an evil spirit and this spirit was saying something I could not understand. With me knowing this, I immediately started rebuking it. Yet I could hear no noise coming from my own mouth. Nothing was working. So even with me not being able to hear myself talk, I still could call on Jesus. With me doing that, the spirit tried to hang on tighter. I kept calling on Jesus. And finally the spirit let me go. I was so relieved that Jesus set me free. I was grateful for just knowing that I think His name without having to actually say it an demons would leave me alone.

Listen, y'all. This walk with Jesus is not always pretty. It's not always without some type of drama. But yet while you are walking out your salvation, Jesus can give you a peace that can surpass all your understanding even when you mess up. I wish that I can bypass a lot of things that I have to go through but I cannot. I am learning that no matter what time of day it is, you have to learn how to kill your own flesh. Your flesh can cause you to fail every time if you don't bring it under subjection to the Holy Spirit. I am learning that more and more. You don't want to keep letting the Father down and letting yourself down as well. This war between flesh and spirit will not end until Christ raptures us away. In the meantime, we have subdue the powers and evils of this world and the powers and the evil that is within us. Remember, greater is He that is in you than he who is in the world. If you fall, repent and dust yourself off. And walk in God's grace and power to never bow down to that spirit or spirits ever again.